In the wake of Valentine’s Day I got all philosophical about love and life. (Tell’s you how my day was, lol!) Anyhu, today we shall look at Genesis’ story on the meeting between Adam and Eve. Eve was taken out of Adam’s side. Up until then, Adam had both feminine and masculine qualities in perfect balance. When his rib was taken out, the love side, the feminine side, that nurturing side was vested in the woman. Women like to think that Adam became more Neanderthal. Despite numerous and repeated aspersions from the fairer sex, Adam gained brawn; without losing brain.
But I can imagine Adam waking up all groggy and stuff. Eve had probably been waiting for this chap to wake up so they can catch up. I mean just talk, you know? Maybe she had even chopped up some fruits nicely and laid them out for Adam’s consumption. Adam notices the fruits and realises he is not alone… (Teren teren!) He wonders whence this provenance is from, perhaps aloud. Eve responds in his language! Adam turns to catch the source of that voice as Eve turns her head. Her long locks toss in the misty morning light and their eyes lock. You know those Indie movie scenes where the leading lady takes off her specs and tosses her hair? And the starring dude finally (verdammt!) realises who she is and who he is. I imagine that for Adam that moment was tectonic. Wow! Man! I have been looking for you! Where the hell have you been? Ok perhaps not “the hell” because apples had not changed hands yet. But am sure for Adam his life fell into BE and AE. You know the way life for the race of man time is divided into Before Christ and Anno Domini? Yeah, for Adam, life could have been separated into life Before Eve and life After Eve. Lol.
Abba put it well in their title of their album, “The Girl With the Golden Hair.” Bryan Adams sings about it in his song “I Was Only Dreaming“. You see for Adam, he had been given the task of naming all the animals. God in His infinite wisdom saw first that Adam was alone, probably lonely. Adam probably had no clue of it himself until God gave him the task of naming the animals. It is said that in the pre-fall Eden animals could talk. So he must have gotten tired of seeing no animal that looked like him. He must have been seeing the lion and lioness talking of majestic stuff while the eagles discussed far-off things like Eurasia. Perhaps monkeys cracking up at a bit of monkeying. But woe was he, because he could not for example tell the monkey that God had even more humorous jokes, or plan a maintenance schedule for Eden with the lion, however well-intentioned they may have been. None of the creatures combined creation into a nice Theory of Everything. Maybe Adam even decided that the monkey looks familiar so they could just hang out. But after a while he realised that the monkey perhaps had no understanding of this Friend of his who likes coming around for long lengthy artsy/spiritual/intellectual discussions in the cool of the afternoon. They just didn’t get each other!
Women wonder why guys suddenly get all focused with life when they meet the one. They are sons of Adam. The focus comes around in this manner. Now the problem after The Fall is that the earth no longer provided its fruit willingly. The Fall caused man to become subject to his physical nature. He began to experience hunger, thirst and so forth. Off course these new dependencies, and therefore requirements to labour, were meant to tamp down Adam’s newly found appetite for ‘apples’. This explains why in the rare scenario that a man decides to transit into self-employment from corporate life after marrying, the lady also transits with him shortly afterwards. She cannot handle the requirements of running a home and providing for it. At least this has been the result in most of the cases that I have seen. Moral? Transit sooner rather than later!
Back to our focus. A true son of Adam, after meeting Eve will consider the implications of this productivity problem on Eve his love. Not just for today, tomorrow and the day after; but rather over the long term; for both Eve and Eve’s progeny. For some men they suddenly become super-disciplined and suddenly start super-exceeding their targets at work. For others this rumination is converted into the most outlandish of ideas, some military as in Braveheart or Gladiator, others politically and others in other ways. None of these new ideas is without its risk.
The big question for a son of Adam who meets the one before he has figured out his angle of attack at life is does he stay and pray or does he leave and cleave? Or to put it more clearly does he stay with Eve and pray for the best or should he leave Eve and so that he can sort out his ‘vision thing’ in order that he may cleave to her better? Does his not having figured out his ‘angle of attack’ disqualify him? Does it equate to not having ‘named his animals’? The lyrics “No Romance Without Finance” certainly ring true. Sadly I think this applies even more to Generation Y than Generation X.
The other day I had a rather interesting conversation with a 20 year old lady on why older couples lose the romance in their relationships. Relationship expert Philip Kitoto put it well when he said that the 3 most problematic areas of marriage are money, sex and communication. So I like to think that married people are getting their MSc. in life. Get it? Lol. As a matter of fact, one very successful Kenyan is known to have sworn his allegiance to his wife with the words “I have only 1 certificate to my name and that’s my marriage certificate. It’s all I ever needed.”
The point here is that romance is a by-product of respect. Therefore loss of respect equates to loss of romance. As a man, the romance would definitely be lost if we had indisciplined kids running around the house. This is not an abdication of my role as a father, but it would be more of a failure of my wife as a mother. By the same token, I expect that if the same child has no school fees at the beginning of term, or no long-term educational policy, this would kill the romance for my wife.
That being said, any couple past the 7 year mark will tell you that provision is romantic. Yeah, I know you might roll your eyes, but it’s close to the truth. Another forgotten truism is that many ladies past the 50 year mark will tell you that given a choice they would have been a bit more choosy about the looks of their spouse. Not just for the kids’ sake, but for their own sake. Cough cough.
I leave you with the words and beats of one Slim Shady…